Spat

No Tax Sale
Tonight only.
She called in advance
For a costly item
Though we do NOT
Give prices over the phone.

She did not read the sign properly
When she was in earlier.
The old man came in later
To fulfill her request,
Unaware of her mistake.
I put aside the size she requested.
It was twenty dollars more
Than she thought because
She saw the price
For the next size down.

He called his wife
When the misunderstanding
Sank in.
Customer service called me
When the bickering became
A source of alarm.
I smoothed things over
In the husband's favour,
Though he fumed still.

"Women," he growled.
"Last time I ever
Pick anything up for her.
I tell you, son,
Women are complicated,
And rarely simplify.
If my wife dies before me
I'll never marry again!"
He declared in his frustration.

"Don't you ever get married,"
He said with a hand on my shoulder,
"Or your woman will cause you trouble.
Stay a bachelor, son."
With a final disgruntled sigh
He shambled off,
And I shuffled away,
Laughing.

I am not certain when
The sex change happened--
For how could he mistake
Me for a man?